So, this year 2013 is already on its final hour. I cannot
help but feel lonely yet happy at the same time. I feel lonely because it feels like finally saying goodbye to a friend you’ll
never see again. I feel happy because another year will come with so many
things to be learned.
I usually feel nostalgic every New Year’s Eve, but this one's quite different from the usual. I feel emotional (or maybe I’m hormonal). However, despite everything I feel, I am grateful this year. It may not be my
best year, but I learned a lot. I think I can safely say I’ve
grown (a little).
If there's one thing I learned this year, it's about learning to choose and keep friends. Two people who I called 'friends' have insulted, hurt and offended me. It hurts to know that the people who I considered friends were the ones who caused such pain.
Then, I recall my mother saying, "A true friend never belittles you. No matter how close you are, they will never belittle nor humiliate you to other people."
Yeah, sure. Anyone can be your friend. People might even stay in your life for quite sometime. But despite the closeness and bond you have shared, although you share a great deal of comfort, they will never-- EVER-- humiliate you. They understand your shortcomings and your flaws. They can laugh about it, but they will never use it against you to insult and humiliate you.
So, yes. There are people worth keeping as much as there are people worth ditching. Get rid of people who hurt you, they take so much of your time you could've spend being happy.
Another thing I learned this year: you grow by welcoming changes.
If you are resistant to changes that constantly occur in your life, you will never appreciate the beauty and nature of life itself. Confining yourself to the things your accustomed to will never teach you new things nor will ever let you be aware of the growing and moving world around you.
Finally, I learned to let go.
At the start of the year, I always feel unhappy deep down myself. I spent years to find the cause of this undefined loneliness. However, during our silent 3-day retreat, it dawned on me the reason of my loneliness and sadness: I was too me.
Everything starts and ends with me. I never found happiness because I am never contented with myself nor am I patient with myself. When I realized that life is way better letting go, I tried to step up.
It wasn't easy. I had been enveloped by my own insecurities, fears and doubts. But well, if you just trust yourself and God, you'll eventually learn how to go with it.
Life isn't perfect. That makes it perfect. Crap happens, but it teaches you how to live. Getting hurt is the best and solid way to learn (at least for me).
Thanks 2013, for the bountiful (I claim it is!) and for a very meaningful year. I welcomed you openly regardless of the uncertainty you brought. Didn't expect anything, but you definitely taught me so much. For now, just like breaking up, it's time to let you go.
Hello, 2014. What you got for me? :)
